Recently I sat down with a couple of friends to talk about ministry and how messy it can look sometimes but worse than that how small I can feel when such big issues arise in peoples lives and I feel so helpless to do anything. I know nothing is too big for God but when I default to that place where I want someone’s pain to go away immediately I feel a great sense of heaviness and grief on my shoulders. I expressed to them that I sometimes feel like very few people understand me-even those who are close to me in my life find it hard to understand why I take on so much of someone’s pain. Why I take this heaviness and absorb it into my soul hoping I can hold it for them. I often find myself trying to explain a lot of how I feel at HHSM and again most often I am misunderstood, or seen as scatterbrained with all the ideas and dreams that I feel God has for someone or the mission itself.
I was relieved when one of my friends said to me “you know what you are? You’re a salt shaker!!”
“I am?” I asked
“Yes! God calls us to be the salt and light of the world and you take the salt and shake it all over the place in many different directions with no real “plan” of how it will work or where it is going but your just obedient to your call. That is how God wired you”
I was relieved at their depiction of my often scatter brained ideas “spreading salt” I take that with me now wherever I go. On my next journey I was of to True City a great place where churches of the city come together to pray for and work together to move forward together in Gods mission for His people. During that day I had a moment where someone asked who I was and why I was there. I started to tell them about HHSM and they asked where we are located. I said Barton and Emerald st. To which they replied “oh my gosh that’s crack alley” I wanted to pour a whole bunch of salt down his throat-seriously that’s my first thoughts-terrible I know but I thought if he only knew that God was really the landlord of all places even if it didn’t always look that way sometimes. I am sure my friend who labelled me as a salt shaker had no intentions of having me use his descriptions in a violent manner so I very quickly asked God to forgive me. Instead I walked away which I know seems like a missed opportunity but was really for the best as my visions of little salt people with small buckets did not go away entirely right away. To my relief worship was beginning again and we listened to a speaker after that talk a lot about Shalom.
Yeah I know you are already probably thinking there wasn’t a whole lot of Shalom in my heart with my violent salt visions but I did begin to understand more the reasons why Shalom (peace) is so important to God because without Shalom nothing gets done to His glory until we come to the place where we can see the Shalom in it. It was then that I realized that I needed to find the balance between salt shaking , and shalom while trying to love people in a beautiful place that some know as Crack Ally.
Go and shake some salt with a sprinkle of Shalom in the places that we think God ahs forgotten-isn’t that really where He is calling us to anyway?